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At that point I realized
that when I first began to comprehend the enormity of what was happening
to my community, I anticipated only that we would lose many people. But
I did not understand that those of us who remain, that is to say, those
of us who will continue to lose and to lose, would also lose our ability
to mourn fully. I feel that I have been dehumanized by the sheer quantity
of death, so that now I can no longer fully grieve each person-how much
I love each one, and how much I miss each one. "I am getting
sicker. Time is running out.... Once AIDS was a hot topic. But now the
world is moving on, uncaring, frustrated and bored." |
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